Roman Numerals. My first big mistake with this series!
I remember just after getting my second degree black belt, reading a sci-fi novel where someone posited a future where there was one martial art, called “Martial arts”.
I think after reading the last seven articles, you’ve come to realize that’s probably never going to happen. There are disparate philosophies. How to combine Aikido, Karate, Jiu-Jutsu, Shaolin Kung Fu, Hung Gar Kung Fu, Judo and French Savate?
The elaborate stances of Shaolin conflict with the deep stances of Karate and the one stance of Aikido. The philosophy of Hung Gar and Shaolin are not similar at all. Philosophy drives techniques and applications. You can’t have a “tiger style Aikido.”
The only way to “Combine all martial arts” would be if most of them died off and were forgotten about. You CANNOT posit someone who knows every martial art.
Next mistake – the dramatic pronouncement.” “Which style of Kung Fu did you master?” “I mastered them all.” It was impressive to claim in the Kung Fu TV series, but he only did Praying Mantis from what I saw. To master all animal forms in Northern Shaolin would require learning about 40 forms and extreme body conditioning. Kwai Chiang Cain would have to have been about 55 years old to learn them all, and mastering them all would take several lifetimes.
Next Mistake – not being specific about what martial art it was. Dune featured a sub plot about the “weirding way” which was a martial art passed down by the Atreides clan. Okay, which one? Assuming it was a form of jiu-jutsu, because of throwing. But there’s strikes as well. Okay, that could be jiu-jutsi as well.
Next mistake – flying elephants. Don’t say so and so knows judo chops. Okay, I’ve read that before. It’s silly. Bottom line on this mistake, a little research goes a LONG way. Go watch a class or three. Look it up on YouTube.
That brings us to next mistake – tourist traps. There’s a lot of styles of kung Fu in China right now that are plays and acts for the tourists. There really is no such thing as Goldfish form Kung Fu. I’m serious. Put them up against a White Crane style fighter, and you’ll have a well fed Kung Fu artist.
Next mistake – combat-o. Someone’s modern scientifically designed martial art that will beat them ALL! Except they all got beat in the very first tournament. There’s something you have to say about a martial art that has lasted 600 years – it must have something in its favor to work like that.
Next mistake – the telltale heart. If I read one more novel about someone pulling a still beating heart out of someone’s chest… I’ll go learn Goldfish kung Fu or something. You have to break through the sternum, several ribs, and then rupture a membrane. I know Itosu could pierce someone’s body with the spearhand – but I wager it was the unprotected belly, not the heart. I’m not knocking Itosu! He taught Funakoshi, who taught Okazaki, who taught me.
clapping the hands to catch a sword – This works because Ninja did this. But there’s a trick – they had a metal plate with claws in their palms. Ever seen a Katana? The old ones were so sharp you could sever a finger on them. Go ahead! Clap your palms! Catch that sword! The intense drama of a 9-11 call, ambulance ride, emergency surgery and dozens of stitches, and long recuperation!!! One word… not.
Catching an arrow out of the air with your teeth. Okay, let me debunk this one. It’s real. My dad saw it happen in Japan. But your timing better be good.
Catching bullets with your teeth. A 9mm bullet travels at supersonic speed. If you timed it just right, it would break your teeth anyway, and go out the back of your throat. If it was a .22 LR, MAYBE.
Tomorrow, I’ll show some concrete examples of HOW to write a martial arts fight scene in a novel.
